It's time for:
Ok, so first off I'll admit that while yes, the whole premise is completely absurd, I was temporarily sucked in by the cover blurb stating "Not a hoax! Not a what if! Not an imaginery story!". As it turns out, the whole thing is a dream, which makes me wonder what definition of "imaginary story" they were thinking of in the disclaimer, but never mind.
In my defense however, what made me hope this was atleast somewhat grounded in the dark (very dark) depths of continuity, was the opening sequence where Nova dies while in service to Galactus.
Seems I took leave of my senses with the idea that, if Nova had died in a story in 1984, Galactus obviously had some way to bring her back, thus her death 10+ years later may have some way of being reversed now. But sadly not. Anyway, a weakened Galactus sets off to Earth to find a new herald.
Meanwhile,
on Earth, the Fantastic 4, Spider-man, MJ, and Aunt May are all attending a circus. Reed dsicovers trouble brewing somewhere (by reading a newspaper over someone's shoulder, so clearly
it's something that has only just happened and needs urgent attention! Gotta love those instant printing presses). The Thing isn't happy at the prospect of leaving the circus early though.
They survive Ben's tantrum, and rush off, with Spidey in tow. Bad timing though, because just as they leave, Galactus turns up, looking for Reed. He finds Franklin Richards instead, and seeing great power in him, decides he'd make a good herald. But he forgot one thing - don't mess with Aunt May!
Aunt May runs interferance, and behold:
The Golden Oldie!
Ugh.
But it gets worse, with Galactus calling her that too.
Then, just incase there was any doubt about where this story was going, Franklin comes foward with a plan to help Galactus. Twinkies! (well, "Twinkles", the low-fat, not-get-sued variety of Twinkies)
Couldn't possibly work, right? Anyway, a skeptical Galactus tries it, and...
I'm not sure if this says good things about what they put in twinkies, or not.
Golden Oldie (ugh) searches the planet and collects the entire world's supplies of the "Golden Sponge Cake with a Creamy Filling". As always though, Galactus hungers, so Oldie is sent off to space to find planets for him. She makes an interesting discovery:
A planet sized Twinkie! But it's creator is guarding it. What could happen?
"They may ridicule me... but they know of my planets!"
"But I do not!"
"It's not a donut!"
So yeah, it turns out this guy has been building planets for a god, which just happens to be Galactus. Oldie suggests he become the new herald, and she is released back to Earth.
The end.
