Sunday, December 7, 2008

Sexy Time Week: Backlash

I'm rounding out Sexy Time Week with a look at Backlash, an adult comic by Caragonne and Beachum. It was serialised in Penthouse magazine (US edition) as part of their Penthouse Comix imprint. This episode is from the Feb 1996 issue.

Errr, nice ass. I guess that's what one should say when faced with something like that, heh. It's a given that things are going to revolve around naked people, but how about the actual plot?

Lesbo-Feminists! Gyno-Traitors! Oh the horror!

Heh, they said "penetrated"...

That would be the high tech bike they mentioned. I haven't read the rest of the series (honest), but that panel right there is all the action (violence related atleast) you're gonna get this issue. That may or may not be a bad thing depending on what you want from your porn comics.

Our troubled heroine needs to get things off her chest*, and stops by the local church for confession. Here's as good a time as any to pause and admire her costume.

That's taking the dental-floss g-string concept to a whole new level, it's a wonder she can walk.

Not content with just listening, the priestess has a confession of her own. Dark sense of foreboding anyone?

Hey, I don't go to church, but I'm pretty sure that's not how it's supposed to work. Maybe I need to start going...

Can I get a "yay, lesbians"?

Yes, yes I can.

Don't be fooled though. This is a grim and gritty tale of the future!

As opposed to Jaguar God, this writer actually makes an effort to atleast make things a little interesting. Or at the very least, they know what caption boxes are for.

Just in case you were in any doubt as to how large Backlash's breasts are:

One explosion, a lesbian scene, and a little bit of plot advancement. Mission accomplished, agent Backlash!

*yes, I actually managed to refrain from adding a bad joke there. I'm amazed too.

Saturday, December 6, 2008

Sexy Time Week: Can't Sing, Can't Write Comics

.....aaaaand we're back. Today, it's a look at the oh-so-awesome Jaguar God #4 from Verotik Comics, the adult line overseen (and in this case, written by) one Glenn Danzig.

The series premise being that there's a primitive jungle land overseen and protected by the mythical Jaguar God, who manifests as a barbarian cloaked in Jaguar skins. Your basic excuse to have naked jungle chicks, and people getting hacked up with axes. That's an idea I can get behind, but will it be any good? The readers seemed to think so:
On with the show!

In this tale, Spanish forces led by some 3-armed dude have invaded the jungle and are enslaving/killing/torturing the natives.

Don't forget, this is an adult comic. There's not just going to be nudity, there's going to be "adult situations". How will the male captors handle being surrounded by all that girl flesh?

Cue explicit rape scene where 4 guys try to have their way with one of the slave girls. I'll spare you the visual evidence, and just skip to the rescue by our hero!

I'm all for rapists getting cut in half, tbh

Conveniently, the men get to wear clothes or loin cloths. The women just have to stay naked and strike revealing poses. Come to think of it, this jungle must be in Brazil, because the girls all have the wax jobs to prove it. Pubes do not a good comic make.

So anyway, Jaguar God runs around killing people for a few pages, then it's time for the boss fight.

Have a read of those awesomely descriptive captions. I'm so glad they thought to describe what was happening in the pictures, because I couldn't figure it out on my own.

That's that, and it's all over bar the letters page, which is just as 'good' as the comic.

Behold, the "real world" goodness of the Jaguar God!

Yeah, DC and Marvel would be totally jealous of all the artists causing the several-month delays between issues. Having a different artist every issue (and 2 in this one) had absolutely nothing to do with scheduling ;)

This thing really is crap on so many different fronts. Weak plot (why would Jaguar God let dozens of his people be slaughtered, but intervene when one of them gets raped?), very skimpy dialogue, captions mirroring exactly what the artist is showing you. Not to mention the typical idea of "adult" comics meaning you get to show all sorts of things happening to women, rather than coming up with interesting stories that happen to involve sex related stuff.

Friday, December 5, 2008

Sexy Time Week: Inter-lude

Ok, so I'm sick with a cold, and it's summer. Go me. "Sexy Time Week" will return shortly with a terrifying look at the mind of Glen Danzig, but in the mean time, I found this old DC editorial piece quite amusing:

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Sexy Time Week: Of back doors and demons

Etrigan's such a naughty Demon. Of course, it's entirely possible I'm reading the innuendo into it myself. My brain's kinda screwy like that...

Monday, December 1, 2008

Sexy Time Week: Remember to wrap up, kids

A public service message brought to you by the JLI circa 1993.

Yes Booster, he clearly means aids. It's the type of thing most guys throw into casual conversation.


Gotta love Bea sticking up for her skanky friends ;)
I don't quite understand what Ted's feeling better about, but never mind.

Sunday, November 30, 2008

Sexy Time Week: Choose your name with care

After yesterdays post, I've retroactively decided to make it the kick off for what I'll call "Sexy Time" week- a look at some of the more adult angles in comics and related stuff.

Today, Etrigan and Hitman have a meeting.

Ahhh, I love The Demon when a decent writer's handling him (Garth Ennis in this case).

Saturday, November 29, 2008

Sexy Time Week: A great moment in translation

From the first episode of the anime Gravion:

The show's pretty crap, but that's classic.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Some things should not be done in silhouette

The end result is not always what's intended...

Saturday, November 22, 2008

Spawning Hype

So there's this book called Spawn that's been around a few years. You may've heard the massive hype that's been going on for months about a "relaunch" of sorts. Or you may live under a rock, and not heard it. Whichever, I thought I'd take a look at the "bold new direction" that was getting kicked off with Spawn #185.

I used to love Spawn. I stuck with it from the beginning (well, technically #16 was where I jumped on) up to #120 before I chucked in the towel. There's probably more issues in that run that I found frustrating than issues I truly loved, but I still have somewhat of a soft spot for the character. Old fans were being invited back for the new story, and I figured I'd see what it looked like to someone who's had a 65 issue break from the comic.

First thing to check out, the recap of recent events on the inside cover:

My scanner may have decided to render that almost unreadable, but that actually sounds like a story I'd love to read. If only that was the relaunch.

The comic proper gets going with a 7 page, almost text free, sequence showing Spawn returning to Earth from Hell. Then he sticks a finger in his eye.
Damn contact lense. If felt so good, he has to do it again, this time with the whole hand.

And hey, if you're gonna do that, may as well rip off your head while you're at it.


Presumably at that exact moment, a comatose patient known as "Patient 47" wakes up. This guy right here:

The main mystery of the issue (and presumably the arc) is introduced here. While the hospital staff rush to attend him, we find that some less than desirable people have been watching, waiting for him to wake. We get the hint that he's important (new Spawn, anyone?), but that's pretty much where things are left.

The final sequence deals with Violator, doing his usual tough-guy ranting about being "pissed off" etc (*yawn*), when he stumbles across Headless Spawn (wait for the toy!)


So yeah, impressions: I'm left feeling pretty "meh" about it. For a start, it was very light on the text- 12 pages which were 95% visual, and the whole thing felt like it read in 5 minutes. Never a good thing in my book. The story itself? It sets a couple of threads off (who is Patient 47, what's happened to Al Simmons), but really it just touches on those. For a relaunch, there's nothing to grab you and draw you in to the book. Spawn's major failing as a book (atleast when I read it) was always the god-damned eternity it took for the story to advance and answers to be given, and as a returning reader, I really can't face the prospect of having to go through all that again. The whole idea that I liked in the recap is also somewhat done in, with the appearance of the big V, and a preview of next issue showing an Angel hunter. Seems like status quo to me.

Predictions: Spawn has died, eventually passing the mantle to Patient 47. He'll fight Violator, and the angel, and the shady guys will try to manipulate the new Spawn. "New Spawn" will be on a quest to find out why all this is happening to him. All of which was done 185 issues ago. I may be totally wrong here. Even so, like I said, there was nothing in this "relaunch" to grab me, shake me, and scream "you must read the next issue!". If you're a Spawn fan, I hope you enjoy it. Me, I think I'll pass.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Fantastic at what exactly?

Sure, it's a good book and all, but what the hell is Mr Fantastic doing with his thumb?

Monday, November 17, 2008

These are a few of my favourite things

A public service announcement courtesy of this blog and the ABC Warriors, should you be in need of some new listening material.


Severe Torture
Hate Eternal
Meads Of Asphodel
Brutal Truth

Sunn 0)))

Cattle Decapitation

Yes, there really is a band called Cattle Decapitation. They're vegetarians. Go figure. The comic missed an obvious joke though, by failing to mention Bolt Thrower.

Sunday, November 16, 2008

How Not To Treat Girls, featuring Firestorm

Ronnie and Doreen's relationship has stalled. Time for a heart to heart.

So far, so good.

It's not going to last though, is it?

Intentional or not, Ronnie can never seem to control that most subtle of Firestorm powers...

...the ability to look like an asshat to his girlfriend.

Saturday, November 15, 2008

Mini toy review: Grimlock

I've been trying not to buy any of the Transformers Animated line. I love the look, and knowing me, if I buy one I'll want to buy them all. My resistance has finally caved though, with the arrival of Grimlock!

Dinobots are awesome, I had to. Plus he's so cute. Err, in a manly dinosaur kind of way...

He's part of the "Activator" line, so he can jump to robot mode at the push of a button, which I'm sure would've kept me amused for hours as a little kid. Hell, I've already played with the function enough as it is.

His T-rex form is also really cool. It creates a bit of a problem though. Afterall, in robot mode, that head's gotta go somewhere...

Yeah, standing up on his own is not really going to happen. Not falling over aside, his articulation and poseability is excellent. Hey Grimlock, how big was that Decepticon you caught?

Groovy. As with most smaller scale Transformers these days, his joints are of the plastic ball/socket variety, designed to pop apart if you put even a fraction too much strain on them, which even with my casual 'play' to see how it moved, had this result a bit too often for my taste:

Overall, a really cool looking figure, but a little lacking in a few key areas (Standing up and not falling apart). Not a problem for me, since it's just going to sit on a shelf for the rest of it's life, but something to consider if you're planning on taking the fight to Megatron.